This week has been full of times when I felt like I was starting over. I started publishing under a new domain name. I decided to really find and connect with new people on the interwebs because a year away from twitter means I’ve lost my chums. I joined a new writing link-up and started writing practices and planning again after realizing it’s been a year since I published The Widow Teal Episode One.
One. Year. Since. I. Published. Fiction.
Does that even make me a writer? Yes, but a writer who feels like she’s starting over. Again.
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Always in transition…
Back in the day, one of my favorite movies was Joe Versus the Volcano (1990). It’s still a goal to own this on dvd or blueray – if it’s even made its way onto blueray. The writing is fabulous. I wanted to be Patricia, the self-confident and assertive sister, but most days I felt like Anjelica, the flibbertigibbet. From one passion to the next I wander through phases of my life. Does that make me adventurous or flighty? It could go either way.
The common thread in my life has been “transition.” I feel like I’m always transitioning. I’ve been a single mom twice. I’ve been a married mom twice. I’ve been a professional genealogist, office manager, freelance writer, social media manager, and book seller. I’ve changed my game more times than I can count.
I’m not sure when it grabbed a negative connotation for me, but “transition” did somewhere along the way. Though, this doesn’t have to be a bad thing I suppose.
*takes a sip of coffee*
This week I’ve looked at:
- starting over on my health via nutrition so that I can stop feeling so damn tired and sore all the time (thanks, fibromyalgia);
- starting over on several writing projects because, hello, a writer who doesn’t write tends to get cranky. I’m sure the man of the house would like me to be less cranky;
- starting over with new, clean spring decorating on a budget when we move to a newly renovated townhouse with tons of windows just screaming for me to start painting again (ALL NATURAL LIGHT, PEOPLE).
That’s a lot of starting over, but they all have good motivations behind them.
Avoiding the obvious…
Throwing the spaghetti at the wall, here’s what sticks: I’m a 42-year-old woman with several chronic illnesses, a drive to write but a time management problem, and a seven-month-old little girl that deserves me around as much as her twenty-year-old sister had me. My obvious fear is that I won’t be able to do that.
This is what I want to avoid.
So, is it being flighty to make another change in diet and focus more on the goals that are fulfilling to me than what I thought I was going to be doing? Or, is it just avoiding the obvious options that I don’t like? I think I’ll go with the one that makes me sound less like an airhead.
*takes another gulp of coffee*
It’s not starting over…
“Life is not so much about beginnings and endings as it is about going on and on and on. It’s about muddling through the middle.”
If we are supposed to be adults, that means figuring out what is best for us and making the changes that need to happen to get there. Right? Then, isn’t this just living and less starting over?
Take a look at the home page and you’ll realize this is a relatively new blog. I’m still updating my author profile occasionally over at stephaniefishman.com, but that just doesn’t feel like the place to brain dump about painted feet art projects with my baby or how to make the best raw green dressing that doesn’t make me want to gag and beg for chocolate.
That life stuff needs to live here where I can talk to all of my tribes: the crunchy moms, the homeschooling families, the crazy raw foodies who still eat cooked beef stew, the weirdoes wandering both the library and the Dollar Store in the same day because you decided you wanted to redo the kitchen. (It makes sense really… have you seen some of the kitchens in cookbooks? #goals)
I guess I really didn’t start over this week. I just chose to live more in line with what I want and need at this stage of my life. That sounds less flibbertigibbet and more mature.
I like mature.
*slurps the last of the coffee loudly*
What are you beginning this week? How about a “muddle through”? Let’s connect. Share your life with me in the comments on or Twitter.
© 2017, Stephanie Pitcher Fishman. All rights reserved.